Friday, April 29, 2016

Love Loss Running

This week has sucked and I feel like I am living  through life under a dark cloud. A piece of our tight family circle has passed on. A piece of my life my little sister has passed. She left before I had a chance to say goodbye and that would be my fault. My sister was positive bright light. She really was. I had a race scheduled this weekend and I was going to skip it but then I had this feeling . I got an email from the Lost Boys 50 mile race . They gave me my bib number 38. My sister was just about to turn 38. When I ran my first marathon 12 years ago I had a picture of my sister under my bib and every time I got tired I would look at her picture and just knowing she was at home stuck in her wheel chair always gave me strength to run for her. My next thought is this time I can really take her with me. Then I sat with that and I just know she wants me to go run this weekend the reason is she wants to know what its like to run 50 miles. I figure she will be my angel pacer and that she will either think I am crazy or she will love it.  

So Saturday morning at 5am I will be at the start line of Lost Boys 50 miler.  I am running this race because its scares me and it looks really hard and I know we can't let fear stop us from doing what we love. I know my sister is in heaven with God but if he is looking for her tomorrow she will be my companion and her and I will be running in the dessert. I love her .

Tuesday, April 26, 2016

I will miss you My Sweet Lillie

My little sister passed away last night. Yes, she was really sick for a very long time and I know that. I want to share a little about my sister. She was an angel and God sent her to us to bless our lives. She has a beautiful smile that came from with in. She taught me to be gentle and to be empathetic. She opened my heart in a way no one else could and when I ran I ran for her all the time. I knew she was home sitting in that wheel chair and somehow I took her with me. I carried her in my heart. Oh my sweet Carmen how you will be missed.

I love her little hands. They where soft and sweet. She had a great laugh and loved dancing in bed . She loved putting on make up and getting her nails done. Like all girls.

Carmen always loved me and I knew that. When I was little and I felt alone or heart broken just getting in her crib and holding her healed me in so many ways. When she was little and could talk she would say yoya. Thats me. She was 37 years old and she is my sister and now she is gone but I will carry her in heart forever and she has made me a better person. She always did.. I love you Carmen. 

Monday, April 25, 2016

Lost Boys 50 Ultramarathon - course overview

Weekly update

Its Monday and 60 days from today is Western States. I am both excited and scared. I am doing what I know I need to do to finish and hopefully have a better race than my last 100 mile race. This past week I got 70 miles in . I think 40 where good miles and 30 felt like time on my feet miles. A couple of things that make me feel like my training is paying of are it seems like my last run of the week feels the best. I absolutely love my long Saturday runs. I share them with my friends and its so nice to see them . The past week we ran with some new people and man I mean when I say. Trail Runners are the nicest people. We ran a part of the new course for the San Diego 100 miler. It was a long morning  on the trails but we covered a lot of ground. Robert and Phillip and David and Nartaya are all running SD100 so it was a good to get out there.
OK so here goes. I am kinda pooping my pants over here with 2 months to go until my dream race that I can't even believe that I got into WITH ONE TICKET !!!. Every chance I get I have been running and watching every Western States video out there. I AM CRAZY excited and I have been trying to sleep a lot too.. So I thought that for the next two months I would just blog about everything leading up to just being able to be a part of something so much bigger than me. 

Tuesday, April 19, 2016

Weekend Recap

This past weekend was a big training weekend for me.  I put in a lot of miles some with my awesome running group and lots of walking with Jack. I don't think I have ever put in so much work into a goal. The amount of training that goes into running 100 miles is daunting on paper. Then there is the fact that my second 100 miler will be Western States has made me want to work even harder.
 Looking back on last weeks runs makes me thing Holy Crap G.. You have come a long way. My #1 goal is to go into WS strong. I also do not want to chase cut off times. That is just stress I don't want to feel,  but after running we did the last  3 days with a ton of elevation gain and accent it makes me feel way better about what I can do. That's the awesome part about this whole experience. What I am taking away from all this. How running is changing me. How much more I appreciate my life. 
 I thought I was training well last  year but I was taking short cuts This year I really want to finish WS. Saturday morning I arrived at 6:30 I felt a migraine coming on so I decided that if It worse I would just turn around and go home. We got started around 7am and I knew this was going to be along run. It took a lot of effort and It was work. At mile 20 I started feeling good. WTH right ? The weather was nice the sun was strong but it was windy so it did not feel to hot. I was so happy to be done 26.2 miles up climbing up and up the PCT. I never thought I would be so familiarized with this trail. I was so freaking happy to be done. SO was everyone else. Then we had Sundays run to look forward too. 22 miles and yes back to the mountains we go. I was dreading it but I know that showing up is half the battle so I showed up . Sunday it was crazy windy and cold at Penny pines. We looked kinda crazy running . The wind would just push you down but we kept moving and I knew by mile 3 that I was going to have a great run. I felt strong and it felt easy to keep going. I was so surprised because my mind told me I was tired but my body did not agree. So I played my music I went for 70s disco music on Sunday and was once again happy and grateful to share the morning with friends ..I am little bit stronger and that makes me happy. So I ended up the week running 60 miles and walking 21. Happy Week friends.

Thursday, April 14, 2016

Mommy Adventures

My mini morning adventure :
Today was one of those days that I needed to get out of the house. I have a-lot of those days. I needed to be outside so as soon as I dropped of my older kids at school I headed home and got my stroller ready and set out for a long walk with my little man. He is no longer interested in the stroller but I thought eventually he will be. It was weird even though it should not be to leave my car behind and walk into town. We left early and we walked together for about an hour. We hit the park and then just walked. We walked by old buildings and under the freeway. We walked by people on bicycles , skateboards and every time we passed by a runner Jack would yell ," go runner ". We walked and he walked and then I ran for about 3 hours and then it was lunch time. We made our way to the Broken Yolk. I was starving and so was Jack so we ate like champions after all we walking people that a-lot of work for 2 1/2 year old and his 43 year young mom :).  We really did have a great time at lunch Jack was tired so he was so good. He ordered and said Thank you to the waitress. I felt very proud. After lunch there was the walk home but to my surprise I only had about 45 minutes to get home before my mommy taxi services needed to start. Jack insisted on walking so I let him and very shortly after he wanted in the stroller. "stroller mama" I walked as fast as I could. Suddenly I had to go pee and there was no bathroom in sight at the same time Jack wanted out. I told him I had to go pee and he said "run mama".

This is him running home so I can go pee. I barely made it and poor kid was so tired he fell asleep 10 minutes later. I like to think of mornings like these as my mini adventure morning. I looked at my watch and we walked 8.3 miles. It was fun and we got to spend the day outside. Most of the morning outside.
Happy Trails.

Wednesday, April 13, 2016

So True

I read this quote and I loved it. Here are some random thoughts on this ::
 This is a picture I took this past weekend of a friend coming into the finish line. She looked strong and I felt so happy for her.  It is so true where you put your focus that is where you send your energy. So I asked myself where does my energy go ?

 Most of my energy goes to my family. That means all the awesomeness that comes with being a stay at home mom. I don't love to cook but I do love to feed my family and a huge amount of my time goes to making sure we all eat well. My favorite question after we eat is " is your tummy happy." I cook a-lot and I has become fun. We sit for dinner every night and end up hanging out for an hour or so we laugh with the kids then sometimes my  kids argue. We discuss all the things that are tough discussing outside the house like religion and politics and opposite sex questions are coming up a lot. I have two teenagers  its perfect. The bigger the meal the longer we sit so I am OK with cooking because of that. The next thing is taking care of my house. I really have to have a clean house not crazy but I need clear open space for peace of mind. I feel like Jack need toys everywhere for his mind so we have come to a good negotiation.

Then running my thoughts and energy seem to go there no matter what.  I focus on running and all I want right now is to have good strong races. Planning for them is fun. I don't care how I place. I am a middle of the pack kind of runner and that is perfect. I focus of my form. My stride my breathing my surroundings and that makes me happy. There you go lots of crazy G thoughts for today. Keep your focus on the good things and the bad things will seem smaller and if that doesn't work go for a long run and your troubles will fade away. 
Happy trails ..G